I was protecting you
by Forbidden13Angel
Summary: InuYasha just killed Sesshomaru. With his dying breath Sessh confesses something to InuYasha that broke his heart.


I lay by your feet, broken, torn and bleeding. Kami forgive me for causing them pain. My blood flows freely now. Pooling by your feet. The thirsty earth beneath it. My heart now destroyed, my body no longer mine, my soul has left me. Hurt for the last time. Nothing can rebuild me, no one can give back something that was never mine.

I hear you growl. "Get up! Fight me!" I smile. Silly hanyou. You don't even know when you have won.

"InuYasha! You killed him!" Your miko screams. She hurts my ears. What does it matter now? I'm dead already. But yet I still breathe, I still bleed.

"He's not dead! Look at him. He's a youkai! It's not that easy to kill him! He's faking. Trying to trap me!" You yell back at her.

I am proud of your defiance. It suits you. You have a youkai spirit after all. Our father comes through strong in you. He would be proud. Yes he would.

"Sesshomaru! Get up you mother fucker! I won't fall for your stupid trick." You snarl at me. I do nothing at first, but then I prop myself up on my elbow. I wins at the pain in my side. You cut me deep, too deep. My blood flows too fast. I will be dead soon.

You look into my eyes and your scowl falls to shock. You see my eyes dulling and my pained expression. Yes the stoic mask is gone, what need do I have for it now? I am nothing. Nothing but a shadow of what I once was. You have taken everything else from me little brother, why not take me life too?

"Bull shit! What the fuck is wrong with you? Get up!" You say, suddenly sounding desperate. Do you not wish me to die? Is that not what you intended for me all along?

"It's over InuYasha. You win." I laugh. "You won a long time ago little brother. Accept it." I say.

Your face contorts. "What do you I won a long time ago? That's bull shit! You're stronger, faster and better than me!" You yell bitterly.

I laugh again. "No! I am nothing more than an empty shell. You took everything from me brother. Why should I not give you my life as well?" I ask. I am glad to die. I want to die. It is all I have wanted for the last five years.

"What did I take? What are you talking about? Is it the sword? Take it." You say tossing to fang at my feet. I look at it for a long while.

"No." I whisper. "It is far too late now. I have no use for it now." I say as I lie back down. The pain is intense but still I manage to laugh again. You whimper.

"You fool! It's not too late! Don't lie to me! You're not dying! You can't die."

"Of course I can die little brother. It is all I have wanted for five years! I have no more need for the Tetsusaiga! It does not matter anymore! He's dead!" I snap. You aggravate me. Your innocents and ignorance sicken me.

"Who's dead?" You ask defiantly.

Yes brother I know you don't know what I speak of. How could you know? Our father never told you of him and neither did I. You never knew my need for the sword. What would it have mattered to you anyway? You hate me remember.

"My son InuYasha. The Tetsusaiga is the only thing that could have killed the man after him, but I was too late. I failed to save him. What good will this thing be to me now?" I snarl angrily as I toss the sword back at you. You gasp. Yes brother. My son is dead because of you.

"Why didn't I know about him?" You ask fighting to regain control your voice. Why cry baka? It does no good.

"Why should you? What difference does it make? Our father gave the fang to you knowing that my son would die for that, and yet he did not hesitate. Why should you?" I ask knowing full well what my words meant to you.

"I am not him Aniki!" You cry. Giving in to your tears as you realize what has just happened. I had given everything up for you and you knew it now. Why? Oh I would never know. Maybe I cared more for you than I would have liked to admit.

"I know Yashi. But you were the one he loved. Not me. Why should I deny him his will? Our father never gave a damn about me! You were all he ever cared for." I say bitterly. How much I had wanted even a fraction of the love he showed for you and his precious miko girl. Much like you do now for yours.

"I cared for you baka!? I loved you and you never said a word of compassion to me! You stoic bastard! I thought you hated me!" You cry openly now. Your friends do not know what to make of the scene before them.

"How could I hate my own brother? I did this to protect you. Don't you see? All my enemies thought I hated you as well, thus they helped you. If I had shown but a hint of affection for you, you would be dead by now! What do you know of what it means to be youkai? He protected you from all this torment! You never had to suffer the way I did!"

The truth of my words hit home in your heart and you sink to your knees crying. Now I have hurt you, now you know why I want to die. I had devoted what remained of my life after you were born to protecting you, like he did. In doing that I had even lost my son to you. Now you have taken my life, the cycle was complete.

"The western lands are yours now little brother. You are the only one of our line left. Rule them well." I said as I felt my mind begin to swim in the haze of pain and loss of blood. You know now that I am dying and there is nothing you can do to save me.

You crawl to me and lie down before me with your head in the crook of my arm.

"You can't die Aniki. I need you. Onegaii." You cry softly. The others begin to walk away. They leave us alone.

"There is no saving me now Yashi. You will be fine. You are me brother. You are unstoppable. You don't need me." I assure you. But you already know this.

"I love you Aniki. I always have. Please forgive me." You beg through the tears you have long since seized trying to control. I find your humanity strangely comforting.

I put my other hand on your cheek and stare into your golden eyes, they eyes of my father, and of my son. "I love you too Yashi. There is nothing to forgive."

I struggle to keep conscious. My blood is spilling my life essence on the ground, my youki is leaving me. "I must go now. You will be strong and you will go on and rule with the pride of the Inu that you are." I order.

"No! Onegaii! Don't leave me." You cry harder.

"Promise me InuYasha."

"I promise. Don't leave me Sesshomaru." You beg. I smile at you one last time.

"Gomen-nasai Little brother." Is all I can say before the darkness take me.

There is no pain here. No heart ache. I am free at last and I know you will keep your promise.

You are, after all, an Inu. The second son of Lord InuTaisho, our father. Soon you will bare me crescent moon as is custom for the ruler of the western lands. You must wear it with pride. I know you will. Goodbye my brother.

I stand in a hazy white land on the edge of a river bed.

"I've been waiting for you Otou-san." I hear Kai's voice. He is standing with his hands in his pocket and his silver hair flapping over his eyes in the breeze. He looks exactly like he did before he died. He has a smile on his face. The ona never stopped smiling, never managed to wipe that stupid grin off his face. I return his smirk.

"Don't flatter yourself baka." I say to him.

He laughs and shakes his hair shoulder length hair out of his face. I stare into his laughing golden eyes and the crescent moon on his forehead. He has my stripes on his cheeks, but in our father's blue.

"We must cross the bridge. There are a few other people who are waiting for you. Don't worry about InuYasha, he'll be fine." He says as he turns toward to bridge. I do not hesitate to follow him.

I am home now. At last I can rest.

_A/N I killed Sesshomaru! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

_But I had to! I didn't have a choice. Soz readers. _

_Hehe don't hate me too much. _

_This is a one shot, just so you know._

_So what ya think?_


End file.
